Dear Diary,
It's the fall-time right of passage. Each Burke student must teach the ABCs at some point before they leave the program, just as they must take the program for credit before they leave. The only question is always: Who has to teach? And I'm sure for the incoming students, they ask: What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year?
Well, diary, I will be teaching at least some of the course this year. Fun, fun. Yep, it finally comes to me: preparing, teaching, grading, answering questions without messing up, reading the text for the first time, being just another brick in the wall, etc.
[Editor's note: Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone]
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Monday, September 26, 2016
Friday, September 23, 2016
All used up
Dear Diary,
Your sincerely,
Dr. Who
After many long, hard journeys, my travel grant is all used up. Ok, well, I spent three more dollars than the allotment, no joke! Thank you ARCS for the funding. It really brought me places and physics I wouldn't have gone otherwise.
Your sincerely,
Dr. Who
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
More puzzles
Dear Diary,
John von Neumann was a mathematician alive when quantum mechanics was getting big. Allegedly, he was faster and smarter than Bethe. Somehow I can't quite believe that...Bethe was used to calculate mental math to check the first computers.
But anyway, there's a story about von Neumann and a puzzle: Given two bikes twenty miles apart and on a course to collide (each bike travels at 10 mph and starts 20 miles apart), a fly travels from one tire's edge to the tire on the other bike repeatedly until is it squashed (always at 15 mph--it turns around instantaneously on reaching the bike).
How far does the fly travel?
There's an easy way to get this answer and it's to recognize that it takes the bikes 1 hour to meet, so the fly travels 15 miles.
But there's a hard way, and apparently von Neumann calculated this instantly on hearing the question. Once answered, the questioner said, "Oh, you must know the trick." (solution presented above) But von Neumann said, "What trick? I just summed up the geometric series."
Oh man, diary! How do you even set up the geometric series for this? I'd love to know!
John von Neumann was a mathematician alive when quantum mechanics was getting big. Allegedly, he was faster and smarter than Bethe. Somehow I can't quite believe that...Bethe was used to calculate mental math to check the first computers.
But anyway, there's a story about von Neumann and a puzzle: Given two bikes twenty miles apart and on a course to collide (each bike travels at 10 mph and starts 20 miles apart), a fly travels from one tire's edge to the tire on the other bike repeatedly until is it squashed (always at 15 mph--it turns around instantaneously on reaching the bike).
How far does the fly travel?
There's an easy way to get this answer and it's to recognize that it takes the bikes 1 hour to meet, so the fly travels 15 miles.
But there's a hard way, and apparently von Neumann calculated this instantly on hearing the question. Once answered, the questioner said, "Oh, you must know the trick." (solution presented above) But von Neumann said, "What trick? I just summed up the geometric series."
Oh man, diary! How do you even set up the geometric series for this? I'd love to know!
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
And then there were three
Dear Diary,
It was great to hear from Dave about his experience in graduate school and get a reprieve from the blog. I wish him the best.
It turns out we've had a mass exodus from the group recently. Raphael is leaving for San Diego, Paul took a job in northern California, and Li is secretly working full time on secret things. The worst part about all of this is updating the information on the website. Let's just focus on the alumni section. Each alternating person has either a white or gray box and these need to be set by hand in our html code. This is a huge pain if Dave (last name starting with "F") needs to be inserted in the top of the list and all following entries changed. Sad!
Now we're down to three. I'll be removed from my one desk Hilton on the ground floor, where the sun never hits that side of the building (keeping it cool in the summer time and refreshingly chill in the "winter"), to the second floor office where air remains unmoved, hot and stuffy. My beloved white board and I will part, but the Cheshire cat grin of hallway noise will follow. My only compensation is a larger desk and the ability to retreat to my Fortress of Solitude in another building. I secretly tried to get two postdocs, my current neighbors, who currently have tiny desks to move into there and prevent this. They requisitioned another office instead, telling me to try and be happy.
He that commends me to mine own content
Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
I, to the science, am like a drop of water.
That in the ocean seeks a postdoc, who, failing there to find a fellowship,
Unseen, uninspired, publishes his worth:
So I to find a degree and an escape,
and in that quest, unhappy, lose myself.
I to Spain for a few weeks, as the world turns beneath me.
It was great to hear from Dave about his experience in graduate school and get a reprieve from the blog. I wish him the best.
It turns out we've had a mass exodus from the group recently. Raphael is leaving for San Diego, Paul took a job in northern California, and Li is secretly working full time on secret things. The worst part about all of this is updating the information on the website. Let's just focus on the alumni section. Each alternating person has either a white or gray box and these need to be set by hand in our html code. This is a huge pain if Dave (last name starting with "F") needs to be inserted in the top of the list and all following entries changed. Sad!
Now we're down to three. I'll be removed from my one desk Hilton on the ground floor, where the sun never hits that side of the building (keeping it cool in the summer time and refreshingly chill in the "winter"), to the second floor office where air remains unmoved, hot and stuffy. My beloved white board and I will part, but the Cheshire cat grin of hallway noise will follow. My only compensation is a larger desk and the ability to retreat to my Fortress of Solitude in another building. I secretly tried to get two postdocs, my current neighbors, who currently have tiny desks to move into there and prevent this. They requisitioned another office instead, telling me to try and be happy.
He that commends me to mine own content
Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
I, to the science, am like a drop of water.
That in the ocean seeks a postdoc, who, failing there to find a fellowship,
Unseen, uninspired, publishes his worth:
So I to find a degree and an escape,
and in that quest, unhappy, lose myself.
I to Spain for a few weeks, as the world turns beneath me.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
The Last Blog Post
Dear Diary,
And so it is. That was my blogging adventure.
Looking back, I'm not entirely sure what I was trying to write about on this one. Now someone else gets to try and figure out what exactly should be going on here. To my successor, I give you this commemorative photograph since I've never actually shown myself on this blog:
Now I have a whole bunch of time to devote to my various duties. ITensor needs a documenting and papers need writing. I'll miss you, Diary. Tah-tah.
And so it is. That was my blogging adventure.
Looking back, I'm not entirely sure what I was trying to write about on this one. Now someone else gets to try and figure out what exactly should be going on here. To my successor, I give you this commemorative photograph since I've never actually shown myself on this blog:
Now I have a whole bunch of time to devote to my various duties. ITensor needs a documenting and papers need writing. I'll miss you, Diary. Tah-tah.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
The Nine Deadly Attributes
Dear Diary,
Today we all got evaluated based on the latest new evaluation system:
I did not come out so favorably in this one. Kieron delivered my utterly contemptable score (perhaps a group low...which was about the number of people asking me for things divided by 3) and then said, "You're doing fine." In between trying to explain my side of the story...ok, well, I abandoned that fairly quickly. Maybe I'll just resign myself to taking the advice or being a terrible student.
Coincidentally, NPR ran a story today saying that employee evaluations were bad for working productivity and morale. That has been my big problem recently but things like this seem to keep finding me. The lessons I took away from today were to focus more on the things I should be doing. Perhaps I should relinquish more administrative control, stop saying yes to endless administrative tasks, and give up this pesky blog. Find more solitary time.
But that would only get me 4.5 points--yikes.
Today we all got evaluated based on the latest new evaluation system:
- reliability
- conceptual
- little calculations
- big calculations
- analytics
- reading
- presentation
- writing
- social functions
I did not come out so favorably in this one. Kieron delivered my utterly contemptable score (perhaps a group low...which was about the number of people asking me for things divided by 3) and then said, "You're doing fine." In between trying to explain my side of the story...ok, well, I abandoned that fairly quickly. Maybe I'll just resign myself to taking the advice or being a terrible student.
Coincidentally, NPR ran a story today saying that employee evaluations were bad for working productivity and morale. That has been my big problem recently but things like this seem to keep finding me. The lessons I took away from today were to focus more on the things I should be doing. Perhaps I should relinquish more administrative control, stop saying yes to endless administrative tasks, and give up this pesky blog. Find more solitary time.
But that would only get me 4.5 points--yikes.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Swan Song
Dear Diary,
I just got back from a conference held by the Far West division of the American Physical Society. I had a blast! There were tons of cool talks! The casino we stayed in was really neat!
Reno was a nice place. Apparently they get a lot of UC students who are looking for more education. They have a lot of nice faculty at the University of Nevada, Reno.
My talk went well. It was the last time that I'll be able to speak on my Master's degree stuff. Now I can put my full effort into new things.
I just got back from a conference held by the Far West division of the American Physical Society. I had a blast! There were tons of cool talks! The casino we stayed in was really neat!
Reno was a nice place. Apparently they get a lot of UC students who are looking for more education. They have a lot of nice faculty at the University of Nevada, Reno.
My talk went well. It was the last time that I'll be able to speak on my Master's degree stuff. Now I can put my full effort into new things.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Not Obvious
Dear Diary,
For months now, I've been hoping to figure out what exactly Lucas did to derive the exchange functional. Well, as fate would have it, I just did.
The trick involved taking a double integral in one dimension and noting that the integrand only contained the difference of the two coordinates. The replacement is obvious if you wave your hands! I get the feeling that this is a common trick in the ABCs but it must've flown completely over my head! Li recognized the switch as from a particular class of problems (the Hooke's atom) but man...the math step was not obvious!
In my defense, I did ask Lucas several times for how he did this and nowhere in the notes was this trick. I kept getting an exponential integral. Playing Devil's advocate, however, I should have learned it during the now fifth ABC class I'm in! Again in my defense, somehow this should have been exposed, you'd think. Again playing Devil's advocate: go and do your work! Stop blogging!
For months now, I've been hoping to figure out what exactly Lucas did to derive the exchange functional. Well, as fate would have it, I just did.
The trick involved taking a double integral in one dimension and noting that the integrand only contained the difference of the two coordinates. The replacement is obvious if you wave your hands! I get the feeling that this is a common trick in the ABCs but it must've flown completely over my head! Li recognized the switch as from a particular class of problems (the Hooke's atom) but man...the math step was not obvious!
In my defense, I did ask Lucas several times for how he did this and nowhere in the notes was this trick. I kept getting an exponential integral. Playing Devil's advocate, however, I should have learned it during the now fifth ABC class I'm in! Again in my defense, somehow this should have been exposed, you'd think. Again playing Devil's advocate: go and do your work! Stop blogging!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Jury Summoned Again
Dear Diary,
I got a second jury summons since April in the mail. It's just the sort of response I'd expect from Orange County for following the rules (aka 'You did exactly what we told you, now let's see if it can be done again!'). It's exactly the same response I've come to expect from pollsters!
Fortunately, I saved the 'get out of jury duty free' card they gave me which is good up to one year. See, last we left the story, I wrote in asking them not to send me to jury duty because I can't really get to the court house (I plead the 5th on how I actually got there!). There aren't any buses that run that early and I don't have a car. In order to actually get there, I'd have to camp like a Star Wars fan waiting for front row tickets...and I'd probably get a ticket for doing so! So, I sent in a letter, heard nothing back, went to court all fancy and dressed up, and then I came back and found that they'd send me a letter three days later saying I could postpone until December.
For the first few months, I thought they were joking. But the law never chuckles and here comes December. Now I'm worried that if I contest it, they'll just postpone the service again for next June and September 2016 (that'll teach me!). But if they keep postponing, maybe there is a way out. I could jury dodge to Canada! See, down here I stick out like a sore thumb for actually doing things I'm told to do. Up there, everyone is so nice I'd actually fit in. Yukon, ho!
I got a second jury summons since April in the mail. It's just the sort of response I'd expect from Orange County for following the rules (aka 'You did exactly what we told you, now let's see if it can be done again!'). It's exactly the same response I've come to expect from pollsters!
Fortunately, I saved the 'get out of jury duty free' card they gave me which is good up to one year. See, last we left the story, I wrote in asking them not to send me to jury duty because I can't really get to the court house (I plead the 5th on how I actually got there!). There aren't any buses that run that early and I don't have a car. In order to actually get there, I'd have to camp like a Star Wars fan waiting for front row tickets...and I'd probably get a ticket for doing so! So, I sent in a letter, heard nothing back, went to court all fancy and dressed up, and then I came back and found that they'd send me a letter three days later saying I could postpone until December.
For the first few months, I thought they were joking. But the law never chuckles and here comes December. Now I'm worried that if I contest it, they'll just postpone the service again for next June and September 2016 (that'll teach me!). But if they keep postponing, maybe there is a way out. I could jury dodge to Canada! See, down here I stick out like a sore thumb for actually doing things I'm told to do. Up there, everyone is so nice I'd actually fit in. Yukon, ho!
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Second reception
Dear Diary,
I went to another lovely ARCS reception and had a blast. The members were so nice. One even commented that it's like having 50 more moms! Such nice people.
One area that I messed up in was introducing my work. I followed some advice and kept it short so I would not be condescending or confusing. But at the behest for more information, I introduced it like I wanted to, and it went over much better. I think I will follow my instincts more going forward. I really enjoy getting to know these people and the other winners.
I also need to remember that casual means dressed up...how I normally do it! All the women got the message but the guys were not so keen. I must trust myself!
Interesting people!
I went to another lovely ARCS reception and had a blast. The members were so nice. One even commented that it's like having 50 more moms! Such nice people.
One area that I messed up in was introducing my work. I followed some advice and kept it short so I would not be condescending or confusing. But at the behest for more information, I introduced it like I wanted to, and it went over much better. I think I will follow my instincts more going forward. I really enjoy getting to know these people and the other winners.
I also need to remember that casual means dressed up...how I normally do it! All the women got the message but the guys were not so keen. I must trust myself!
Interesting people!
Friday, October 10, 2014
Special Cup
Dear Diary,
Justin loaned me a cup some time ago as I am eco-conscious with our tea consumption. I didn't want to use paper disposables from the coffee place anymore.
Well, I lost that cup. Then I found it again today when I walked into Li and Raphael's office. Huzzah!
Justin loaned me a cup some time ago as I am eco-conscious with our tea consumption. I didn't want to use paper disposables from the coffee place anymore.
Well, I lost that cup. Then I found it again today when I walked into Li and Raphael's office. Huzzah!
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Wasn't me
Dear Diary,
For once, it wasn't me. I did not crash the cluster's head nodes. For once.
Picture this: I've been submitting a ton jobs recently, getting a lot of work done. Steve and Kieron seemed to be real pleased that I'm getting all this done. How could I remember not to crash any computers? How about running less jobs so I make it wasn't me.
Ok, but there was some trouble around lunch. I figured it has to me. It's been me so many times that I'm now the guy who is known as the guy who crashes the cluster. To be a true player, you got to learn how to play. But it wasn't me!
Nate was really nice to me this time and everything seems to be going my way. Further, Miles and I are honing on the exact LDA that we've been trying to get for a long time now. I mean, I have two numbers instead of zero now.
And with the whole cluster at my command, nothing can stop us! (Unless I submit too many jobs and crash it.) I was extremely nervous before I found out it wasn't me; now I need to go tell everyone and celebrate at the pub!
For once, it wasn't me. I did not crash the cluster's head nodes. For once.
Picture this: I've been submitting a ton jobs recently, getting a lot of work done. Steve and Kieron seemed to be real pleased that I'm getting all this done. How could I remember not to crash any computers? How about running less jobs so I make it wasn't me.
Ok, but there was some trouble around lunch. I figured it has to me. It's been me so many times that I'm now the guy who is known as the guy who crashes the cluster. To be a true player, you got to learn how to play. But it wasn't me!
Nate was really nice to me this time and everything seems to be going my way. Further, Miles and I are honing on the exact LDA that we've been trying to get for a long time now. I mean, I have two numbers instead of zero now.
And with the whole cluster at my command, nothing can stop us! (Unless I submit too many jobs and crash it.) I was extremely nervous before I found out it wasn't me; now I need to go tell everyone and celebrate at the pub!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Fancy pants
Dear Diary,
I have had the pleasure of attending a reception by the ARCS foundation. Boy was it lovely! I got to chat with a whole bunch of people and hear about all the cool stuff going on. I have to admit, after hearing the speaker speak and chatting with a few other people, I'm super motivated to do good science. In fact, it made me question whether my science was any good in the face of such powerful and life altering work! I have to do better!
In addition to meeting some lovely people, my sartorial choices were a hit. I went plain with a white shirt and skinny black tie in my new dress shoes. I would have given myself "best dressed," but there were a lot of other well dressed people there, I must say. I did get the obligatory, "You clean up nicely" which made me rethink my daily attire. I'll have to make sure to get fancier on a daily basis!
I also got to meet other winners from last year and this year. What a treat! Some great people to meet!
I have had the pleasure of attending a reception by the ARCS foundation. Boy was it lovely! I got to chat with a whole bunch of people and hear about all the cool stuff going on. I have to admit, after hearing the speaker speak and chatting with a few other people, I'm super motivated to do good science. In fact, it made me question whether my science was any good in the face of such powerful and life altering work! I have to do better!
In addition to meeting some lovely people, my sartorial choices were a hit. I went plain with a white shirt and skinny black tie in my new dress shoes. I would have given myself "best dressed," but there were a lot of other well dressed people there, I must say. I did get the obligatory, "You clean up nicely" which made me rethink my daily attire. I'll have to make sure to get fancier on a daily basis!
I also got to meet other winners from last year and this year. What a treat! Some great people to meet!
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Insult to Living
Dear Diary,
Not one day after my roommate leaves (lucky guy), the fire drill occurs. I think my last roommate also pulled the same trick. Now, recall last year that I simply packed my bags and walked into work. No so this year, there is a new $500 fine for doing that. I even woke up at a comfortable 8am and wanted to take the morning slow (because I work so hard for this university on a daily basis; I need my free time to relax--there, I said it--sue me).
The utter mystery is that less than a week ago, they had a planned fire alarm that doesn't satisfy some state law to have an anonymous one. So, I naturally spent more time away from home to avoid that first one. Maybe these are good for the undergraduates who seem to set off their fire alarms about every ten minutes around dinner and lunch times by (I assume) leaving their stoves on.
There is something noisy that occurs every morning from garbage pickup to lawn mowing (you know, the lawns they over water during this drought) to people playing basketball until midnight...
...oh! The alarms are going off again! Are they playing a joke?! Is their system faulty??
Once you're unceremoniously ushered from your apartment with threats of fines and more loud noise, you sign in (and if you're feeling sassy, act sassy to the poor people signing you in), and then you are given a donut. Yes, a donut! The healthiest of the American breakfast! I declined.
I'm going swimming.
Not one day after my roommate leaves (lucky guy), the fire drill occurs. I think my last roommate also pulled the same trick. Now, recall last year that I simply packed my bags and walked into work. No so this year, there is a new $500 fine for doing that. I even woke up at a comfortable 8am and wanted to take the morning slow (because I work so hard for this university on a daily basis; I need my free time to relax--there, I said it--sue me).
The utter mystery is that less than a week ago, they had a planned fire alarm that doesn't satisfy some state law to have an anonymous one. So, I naturally spent more time away from home to avoid that first one. Maybe these are good for the undergraduates who seem to set off their fire alarms about every ten minutes around dinner and lunch times by (I assume) leaving their stoves on.
There is something noisy that occurs every morning from garbage pickup to lawn mowing (you know, the lawns they over water during this drought) to people playing basketball until midnight...
...oh! The alarms are going off again! Are they playing a joke?! Is their system faulty??
Once you're unceremoniously ushered from your apartment with threats of fines and more loud noise, you sign in (and if you're feeling sassy, act sassy to the poor people signing you in), and then you are given a donut. Yes, a donut! The healthiest of the American breakfast! I declined.
I'm going swimming.
I will remember you
Dear Diary,
My roommate has moved out today. I'm distraught. Corey was one of the best roommates I've ever had. Up there with the three guys I roomed with my first year at Long Beach before the landlord showed up unannounced and used a leaf blower to blow dust off the outside of the house. Funny what having kids can do to some people. Angry, formal letters by yours truly were sent to make sure we got our full security deposits (we did), and we all went our separate ways. Happy times.
But Corey! Now who will I come home to? I can't keep doing this. Going through roommates is tough. You did your dishes!* That's like roommate gold! Two roommates in a row who did their dishes? There must some regression back to the mean at some point. And you always bought the toilet paper. Remember the time we left the compost inside too long and got flies?
My guess is that they won't fill the room for about a year. It was awkward timing to do a fish project in Vietnam for housing contracts. But seize the opportunity, Corey!
Who will I awkwardly negotiate bathroom time with? Now it's just me and the bathroom. I suppose my last, also very great roommate Ben moved out under similar circumstances. He did get married, but maybe it was me. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and realize that you've got the whole place here to yourself and that's super awesome. No, Corey and our third roommate (his significant other) loved spending time here because they basically had full control over the apartment. With no furniture and a full work schedule, I'm a veritable non-factor!
He did leave a table. Maybe I should have a party where I invite everyone and sit in my one chair. That's enough, right? I am slowly collecting furniture discarded from former roommates. The first year I was here, I slept on the floor. Not after Ben moved out. Thank you! A few more roommates and I could get to enjoying time at home!
*-The next one better too!
My roommate has moved out today. I'm distraught. Corey was one of the best roommates I've ever had. Up there with the three guys I roomed with my first year at Long Beach before the landlord showed up unannounced and used a leaf blower to blow dust off the outside of the house. Funny what having kids can do to some people. Angry, formal letters by yours truly were sent to make sure we got our full security deposits (we did), and we all went our separate ways. Happy times.
But Corey! Now who will I come home to? I can't keep doing this. Going through roommates is tough. You did your dishes!* That's like roommate gold! Two roommates in a row who did their dishes? There must some regression back to the mean at some point. And you always bought the toilet paper. Remember the time we left the compost inside too long and got flies?
My guess is that they won't fill the room for about a year. It was awkward timing to do a fish project in Vietnam for housing contracts. But seize the opportunity, Corey!
Who will I awkwardly negotiate bathroom time with? Now it's just me and the bathroom. I suppose my last, also very great roommate Ben moved out under similar circumstances. He did get married, but maybe it was me. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and realize that you've got the whole place here to yourself and that's super awesome. No, Corey and our third roommate (his significant other) loved spending time here because they basically had full control over the apartment. With no furniture and a full work schedule, I'm a veritable non-factor!
He did leave a table. Maybe I should have a party where I invite everyone and sit in my one chair. That's enough, right? I am slowly collecting furniture discarded from former roommates. The first year I was here, I slept on the floor. Not after Ben moved out. Thank you! A few more roommates and I could get to enjoying time at home!
*-The next one better too!
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
More than you can chew
Dear Diary,
Aha! So this fellowship I won does have strings! I was foolish to think otherwise! But truly, this is exactly the type of thing I needed.
These are the strings you hope for. Would Pinocchio be such a goodie two-shoes if he wasn't controlled by Geppeto maniacally for the first third of the movie? Never! It turns out here that the money I receive must be used for "things that help get me my Ph.D." That's it! The possibilities are endless because I have a long leash on this one!
Some brief examples that were told to me by my excellent contact were that I should put the money towards conferences and publication fees among other things. Secretly, it costs a lot of money to put articles in journals, but this means I won't need to beg for money to do it! I even have a few side projects with good friends who are probably jumping up in the air right now that I'll be footing the bill. I accidentally made the mistake of telling one of them not to work too fast on one project--how will I tell them we need to publish while I still have funds?! In fairness, I also need to do a few things on that and others.
The real winner here are Kieron, Steve, and the grants they have. They won't have to pay as much for me; I will! They just don't know it yet! I think its exactly the kind of news Kieron and Steve are waiting for from me: I'm cheap!
In other news, I should get to work on other news that Kieron and Steve will definitely enjoy. I need to produce a paper!
...and what's this? Miles and Kieron have sent me conferences to apply to?! Wowie! Heartfelt thanks ARCS!!
Aha! So this fellowship I won does have strings! I was foolish to think otherwise! But truly, this is exactly the type of thing I needed.
These are the strings you hope for. Would Pinocchio be such a goodie two-shoes if he wasn't controlled by Geppeto maniacally for the first third of the movie? Never! It turns out here that the money I receive must be used for "things that help get me my Ph.D." That's it! The possibilities are endless because I have a long leash on this one!
Some brief examples that were told to me by my excellent contact were that I should put the money towards conferences and publication fees among other things. Secretly, it costs a lot of money to put articles in journals, but this means I won't need to beg for money to do it! I even have a few side projects with good friends who are probably jumping up in the air right now that I'll be footing the bill. I accidentally made the mistake of telling one of them not to work too fast on one project--how will I tell them we need to publish while I still have funds?! In fairness, I also need to do a few things on that and others.
The real winner here are Kieron, Steve, and the grants they have. They won't have to pay as much for me; I will! They just don't know it yet! I think its exactly the kind of news Kieron and Steve are waiting for from me: I'm cheap!
In other news, I should get to work on other news that Kieron and Steve will definitely enjoy. I need to produce a paper!
...and what's this? Miles and Kieron have sent me conferences to apply to?! Wowie! Heartfelt thanks ARCS!!
Monday, September 29, 2014
When Nothing Is Something
Dear Diary,
I decided not to come into the office this weekend. It was awesome!
But it meant that I hadn't run any calculations that I was supposed to. That was mostly because I couldn't figure out how to compile the program Miles had written.
So this morning I was informed by Steve and Miles that I should switch to a different branch. Huzzah! It all compiled! Now things are running...
Just another example of how doing nothing can still be productive. But now I have to be really productive.
I decided not to come into the office this weekend. It was awesome!
But it meant that I hadn't run any calculations that I was supposed to. That was mostly because I couldn't figure out how to compile the program Miles had written.
So this morning I was informed by Steve and Miles that I should switch to a different branch. Huzzah! It all compiled! Now things are running...
Just another example of how doing nothing can still be productive. But now I have to be really productive.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
The Sad Truth of Getting Into the Group
Dear Diary,
Decisions on group members are done in the following way: 1) A group member rotates with us 2) gives a presentation on their former research and 3) receives a decision from Kieron about whether they are in the group after getting input from all of us. We'll analyze this process below.
First, the big news. Kieron called Dave into his office this morning and, after discussing his work, suggested that Dave start to look at other advisors. So, he'll be investigating other possibilities for life. He'll still finish the project he started, obviously, but won't start another. Psych! He's in the group! And that fake account of what happened is exactly how Dave tricked me this morning. Don't ever do that again, Dave! Now I won't believe any bad news you ever tell me again! The sky is falling? Chicken little! Cry wolf? Go blow your horn! Man made climate change is driven by excessive green house gases including carbon in the atmosphere? Uh...well, ok I'll believe that one...
Let's take a moment to process the process of getting into the group. One naturally wonders if our input matters. Of course it doesn't! We're not the professor! At most we'll have to only put up with people in our offices for a year or two; Kieron gets a life sentence! But let me chime in on the psychology of the process as I see it. Without knowing exactly what you want, the thought process for me (and I suspect others) devolves into whether I'm a good fit in the group and whether the answer to that question can help meunderstand why I'm in the group. Having published one paper as a secondary author and seeing now that Dave is about to put something out in his first two months and, well, it makes me wonder if I can possibly work up to Dave's impressive start. And if its good enough. I have no barometer for these things. Since I have to make a personal website now and add him to email lists, I should have voted no.
But I voted for him.
Decisions on group members are done in the following way: 1) A group member rotates with us 2) gives a presentation on their former research and 3) receives a decision from Kieron about whether they are in the group after getting input from all of us. We'll analyze this process below.
First, the big news. Kieron called Dave into his office this morning and, after discussing his work, suggested that Dave start to look at other advisors. So, he'll be investigating other possibilities for life. He'll still finish the project he started, obviously, but won't start another. Psych! He's in the group! And that fake account of what happened is exactly how Dave tricked me this morning. Don't ever do that again, Dave! Now I won't believe any bad news you ever tell me again! The sky is falling? Chicken little! Cry wolf? Go blow your horn! Man made climate change is driven by excessive green house gases including carbon in the atmosphere? Uh...well, ok I'll believe that one...
Let's take a moment to process the process of getting into the group. One naturally wonders if our input matters. Of course it doesn't! We're not the professor! At most we'll have to only put up with people in our offices for a year or two; Kieron gets a life sentence! But let me chime in on the psychology of the process as I see it. Without knowing exactly what you want, the thought process for me (and I suspect others) devolves into whether I'm a good fit in the group and whether the answer to that question can help meunderstand why I'm in the group. Having published one paper as a secondary author and seeing now that Dave is about to put something out in his first two months and, well, it makes me wonder if I can possibly work up to Dave's impressive start. And if its good enough. I have no barometer for these things. Since I have to make a personal website now and add him to email lists, I should have voted no.
But I voted for him.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
New Year, New Jobs
Dear Diary,
Today I took action. The state of our union will be stronger, more efficient, and able to better our cause for a job change.
I will be relinquishing my secretarial duties during meetings to spend more time increasing my productivity for the group. I have also passed on the cookie duties to Aurora.
David will take over the material acquisition position for the group since a new ordering system must be learned. Aurora has done a wonderful job making sure our supplies are un-dwindled and now Dave must prove himself in the same way. Ok, so he's not in the group, but he can handle it. Previously I had only bought the same cookies each week which led to unenthusiastic cookie time. This is the most important duty in the group. I'm not kidding. My cookies were a shame that persisted far too long that will be corrected with a new cookie procurement (though the cookies might still be the same each week--for the better!). No one knows what happens when the perfect meeting meets the worst cookies (though I have bought some bad cookies); a paradox we will never meet with Aurora in charge!
With other duties, I did a disastrous job with the notes. Rampant misquotes, incorrect facts, and too lengthy minutes. In a closed trial, I was deemed incompetent by a judge, jury, and executioner of myself. I have sentenced myself to a well-deserved exile to improve our union. Justin will close these weaknesses in the notes and provide an accurate historical record for future Burkies.
Today I took action. The state of our union will be stronger, more efficient, and able to better our cause for a job change.
I will be relinquishing my secretarial duties during meetings to spend more time increasing my productivity for the group. I have also passed on the cookie duties to Aurora.
David will take over the material acquisition position for the group since a new ordering system must be learned. Aurora has done a wonderful job making sure our supplies are un-dwindled and now Dave must prove himself in the same way. Ok, so he's not in the group, but he can handle it. Previously I had only bought the same cookies each week which led to unenthusiastic cookie time. This is the most important duty in the group. I'm not kidding. My cookies were a shame that persisted far too long that will be corrected with a new cookie procurement (though the cookies might still be the same each week--for the better!). No one knows what happens when the perfect meeting meets the worst cookies (though I have bought some bad cookies); a paradox we will never meet with Aurora in charge!
With other duties, I did a disastrous job with the notes. Rampant misquotes, incorrect facts, and too lengthy minutes. In a closed trial, I was deemed incompetent by a judge, jury, and executioner of myself. I have sentenced myself to a well-deserved exile to improve our union. Justin will close these weaknesses in the notes and provide an accurate historical record for future Burkies.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Fail Mail
Dear Diary,
Mail is never good. I have trouble thinking of pieces of mail that I've actually enjoyed if I didn't expect them. Most often it's mail asking for a fee to be paid (the dreaded 'fee-mail'). Today I got the worst mail of all: my grade from the workshop in Montreal!
Should I bother opening it? Maybe if I just never know then it can't hurt me. Maybe it's written in French and I'll have no hope of deciphering however they write their grades and numbers. That's the advantage of getting a paper copy in the digital era. There's no paper trail left on some server somewhere! Oh, but what if Kieron or Steve gets the grades...ok, may as well open it...
A B+?! What?!!
A disgrace. I've really left myself down this time. I have only myself to blame. It is good for credit (oui). But how will I explain this to Kieron, Steve, and the hard working taxpayer?? I tried everyone, really. I thought I did alright on the test. I figured out that you can't contract arbitrary tensor networks (it's an open subject). Ok, maybe I guessed on some of the steps in DMFT, but I thought my homework was good enough for a A-.* Maybe I could get a pass if I had a paper out, but we're still stuck on the thing I started on a year and a half ago!
Well, I did have a chance to get away and vacation. Further, I got to learn about a few things that have come in handy very soon. And I was in the middle of a review of a paper which required a lengthy answer to an angry reviewer. I'll blame them. Fie on you nasty reviewer for making me answer your uninformed questions and reducing my grade another .4 points!
*-Non!
Mail is never good. I have trouble thinking of pieces of mail that I've actually enjoyed if I didn't expect them. Most often it's mail asking for a fee to be paid (the dreaded 'fee-mail'). Today I got the worst mail of all: my grade from the workshop in Montreal!
Should I bother opening it? Maybe if I just never know then it can't hurt me. Maybe it's written in French and I'll have no hope of deciphering however they write their grades and numbers. That's the advantage of getting a paper copy in the digital era. There's no paper trail left on some server somewhere! Oh, but what if Kieron or Steve gets the grades...ok, may as well open it...
A B+?! What?!!
A disgrace. I've really left myself down this time. I have only myself to blame. It is good for credit (oui). But how will I explain this to Kieron, Steve, and the hard working taxpayer?? I tried everyone, really. I thought I did alright on the test. I figured out that you can't contract arbitrary tensor networks (it's an open subject). Ok, maybe I guessed on some of the steps in DMFT, but I thought my homework was good enough for a A-.* Maybe I could get a pass if I had a paper out, but we're still stuck on the thing I started on a year and a half ago!
Well, I did have a chance to get away and vacation. Further, I got to learn about a few things that have come in handy very soon. And I was in the middle of a review of a paper which required a lengthy answer to an angry reviewer. I'll blame them. Fie on you nasty reviewer for making me answer your uninformed questions and reducing my grade another .4 points!
*-Non!
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