Wasn't me

Dear Diary,

For once, it wasn't me.  I did not crash the cluster's head nodes.  For once.

Picture this:  I've been submitting a ton jobs recently, getting a lot of work done.  Steve and Kieron seemed to be real pleased that I'm getting all this done.  How could I remember not to crash any computers?  How about running less jobs so I make it wasn't me.

Ok, but there was some trouble around lunch.  I figured it has to me.  It's been me so many times that I'm now the guy  who is known as the guy who crashes the cluster.  To be a true player, you got to learn how to play.  But it wasn't me!

Nate was really nice to me this time and everything seems to be going my way.  Further, Miles and I are honing on the exact LDA that we've been trying to get for a long time now.  I mean, I have two numbers instead of zero now.

And with the whole cluster at my command, nothing can stop us!  (Unless I submit too many jobs and crash it.)  I was extremely nervous before I found out it wasn't me; now I need to go tell everyone and celebrate at the pub!