Monday, March 10, 2014

Jury Duty!


I got served!

On May 5, I have to go to the Orange County court to serve jury!  Somehow the forces of Irvine are conspiring to prevent me from getting my degree by keeping me in Irvine and throwing something in my direction every five days or so!  This is the clearest example of random chance targeting me!

The court is ten miles away and I don't have a car!  There aren't even buses that run that early.  It's an hour bike ride at least.  I know, I've been managing to get by around here not having a car!  In Orange County!  This is some cruel fate, diary.  Kieron will be most displeased that I am attending to my legally binding duties as a citizen.  Destiny is mandating that I purchase a car for what will probably be exactly one use when they don't even want me for the trial.  Ok, wait, let's be calm and look at the disqualifications:

1)  Am not a citizen.
2)  Am under eighteen years of age.
Now I regret registering to vote.
3)  Am not a resident of Orange County.
Aha!  A reason to move!  But my lease doesn't end until July!
4)  Do not have sufficient knowledge of the English language.
I did get a C+ in English once.  Fue a Espana y Colombia.  Por supuesto!  Hace llueve!
5)  Have been convicted of a felony or malfeasance.
Claro, no.  No tengo un problema con la polic√≠a.
6)  Am currently serving or will be serving another jury.
We're running out of options!
7)  Am subject of conservatorship.
You mean, like the future of humanity via research?  I guess not if we've made comments in this space about our work being possibly meaningless...Does managing the group count?  (I don't think I can pull that one off...)

Ok, onto the online registration:

1)  Yes, I'm single.  Rub it in.
2)  (Not) Employed (?)...that's a tough one, computer.  We'll go with 'yes'.
3)  Government Employee:  Yes?  That's another tough one...
4)  Number of days employer pays during jury duty...pi?...e?...I don't know but it's irrational...
5)  Would you like to waive your travel fees to the court?  I'm gonna really change things around with that $15, diary.  We'll never look back!

On the bright side, I can bring my own lunch!  And parking is validated!

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